Let me ask you a question then, see if you answer honestly…has your husband ever molested your daughters?” and said “no never!” and ym fiance lost her mind. It is hard if I didnt have my son I would be living on the street. If a narcissist can maneuver their opponent into doing or saying something, it gives strength to the belief they have in themselves as powerful and superior beings. So l suppose l become passive aggressive in becoming quiet so letting her know her behaviour is unacceptable without discussing it, which l hate. I decide to figure out what my role is because that is the limit of my control. Exaggerating or hiding a fact yourself for your own purposes will give the narcissist free license to tell even more outrageous lies to further his own agenda. l gave her my childhood l can’t give anymore of me as pragmatically there is nothing left of me to give her. I don’t know what else can be done. Give yourself the chance to get better, and get away however you can. You obviously respect yourself by being assertive about a perceived wrong on his part. Lloyd. UGH! after i called her out on her treatment of me its was straight downhill- full discard mode. In the same boat. I intend to continue to legal fight to hold these lawyers accountable for their professional incompetence and negligence of basic human rights etc. How about respect? If he leaves the house – you leave the house. – ‘To get my hopes up’ . As far as confronting, I did that by accident a number of times. i dont understand. I also wonder how many psychotherapists are children of N parents (I know at least 3 others besides myself) for many of us were trained in counseling from a very young age. She controls all communication. always had a physical ailment to avoid sex and outings. totally agree with Clint. Flipped out on her 2 days ago after she barged I to my house to yell at me for not staying on the phone with her when she calls 6 plus times a day. This is why when confronting the narcissist with the truth, they can become dangerous, essentially you are threatening their alter-ego with distruction. I have said this a number of times. I learned a lot about the codependent piece of the N drama. Yes, person, not just mother or daughter. I feel Pedophiles and Narcissists seem to have a lot in common. Ask yourself why this is important to you before you take the next steps. Valuable to me. Don’t let … I repeated over and over again, as she attempted to twist and turn my words, what my truth was. Narcissists respond best to empathic validation when being confronted. They are superficial individuals whose self-worth often stems from their behavior toward their partner, family and friends. And some of us seem to get it from both sides and while I’ve forgiven my mother and cope the best I can with her high energy and off the wall ways, now I have to cope with a daughter who rages uncontrollably at me for minor offenses like saying “Hello.” and on some days it seems my just breathing sets her off. So l just distance myself from her to keep my sanity. Although I was a generally well behaved child, my parents often set traps for me to warrant outrageous behavior. If you learn these, then you can better spot what they’re up to… Attack You. She is out to destroy me if its the last thing she does. He then started the discard which I did not know about for probably two years. She is always on death’s door but will recover enough for other commitments. Although more often he would threaten and publicly humiliate me, choosing to goad and belittle my codependent Mother into doing the beating for him, naturally, my unacceptable behaviour must be her fault. Otherwise you are a codependent who will just keep this cycle going. I am now glad I met my narcs as I am now a tower of strength & so too will you. There are five common themes often seen in narcissistic families: the neutral sibling, the needy sibling, flying monkeys, the withdrawn sibling, and pseudomutuality. My mom lives a mile from me. Why wait? Her behaviour is escalating, causing huge disappointment in my parents. She also rages. My one married one. Do you think that’s all a ploy? You are describing my situation exactly with that many years of a sister who plays the victim role and I don’t know why she says and does the things she does. If anyone has any advice on how to overcome the intense anger and rage I have towards her and her flying monkeys, and how I can really move on and rebuild a life, or have even just some kind words, I could surely use any of it. I’m convinced that the opposite is more accurate. He always walks away and will go very long periods of time not speaking to me. She favors my son over my twin girls. Confronting a narcissist may not change the narcissist, but it might change you. Either we’re going to be their bitch or they’re going to be ours. This is designed to distract people from the truth … I have suffered her manipulations and bullshite all my life but 20 years ago walked away virtually having nothing to do with her. She is a cruel, evil woman who spews venom at all she meets. Their eyes change during rage and I swear you can see satan in them this is no lie if you see this in yours ,,,,,,RUN!!!!!!!!! I understand how hopeless you feel and that you just want the pain to stop. She abuses xanax, ativan, vicodin etc. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor’s in Clinical Psychology. If he isn’t respectful of your concerns and emotions, he honestly won’t likely develop into an genuinely loving and responsive partner when he returns. Glad to know I did the right thing. There are different type of narcissists and who also have other type of traits/behaviours (sociopathy, stalking aka extreme obsession) mixed in with the narcissism. she just didnt care to show it. He is all powerful and never fails those who put their faith in Him. The narcissist does not value truth, no matter how much he may harp on to the contrary. They will use your email against you, forwarding it to all their family/friends, leaving off whatever they said to you that started it, and outright lying you. Plus, they’re notorious for counter-punching really, really hard. It’s possible if u have a lot of boundaries, I find it just takes too much energy at the end, so I have decided to go no contact with my mother, I’m the scapegoat, so if confront her, that’s what she wants to blame me and she will always do it, so suppose I could say “ one more critical and unfair comment and I leave” firmly and leave, but she would always say “ plis learn to be patient with me”, u see that’s another manipulation to blame me, I think this is always the case with narcisists, I don’t think the article is accurate, if ur descent to their level they might have further ammunition to blame u, it’s best to just disengage and walk away out of the blue, no explanation, but then u will find the narcissist has nothing to offer, which I bet is their worst fear, that u actually realize of that because then they would never interest u again. I keep hearing he’s changing, but never happens. When ur mother is like that, ask god to help her, but me humble enough to know u are not god and ur only duty is to protect urself and ur energy to manifest ur gifts god gives u, so trust, let her go, she needs to learn her lesson and u need to move on, at least u can so u have the strong part of the stick on this one. Sometimes I fantasize that the flying monkeys and silent onlookers figure out the truth about the narcissist and apologize to me. I’ve recently learned to let them know that I’m listening but that I’m not getting involved because it’s their feelings. My older kids all live here as well and I feel a great deal of pressure to make things work. It works every single time. One day she was admonishing her brother on the phone and I thought she was “way out of line.” A couple of hours later I called him myself to apologize for her boorish behavior and he could not remember what I was talking about! My advice is let these people go, don’t worry about not having a family. 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